ADVICE TO NEWLY WEDS- from a Wedding Photographer
Some years ago, starting out as a young married couple we were very much immersed, particularly when we had young children, in the Ministry of Dr James Dobson from Focus on the Family ,a Christian organisation that he founded.
He had a film series that was very helpful to us in the 1970’s and also had a radio programme from which many cassettes were produced.
One of the cassettes was entitled “Advice to Newly Weds”.
It contained very good advice for those wishing to heed it.
At one stage as a young man starting out in wedding photography who regarded his photography as a Christian Ministry, I had an idea of presenting the tape to all couples whose wedding I photographed.
I decided not to do that as it was not really my role as a photographer to do it, so I thought..
Sadly I am aware some of those marriages have not lasted.
Some whose weddings I did, caused me to question the match and how long the wedding would last and thankfully some of those people proved my judgement wrong.
So now in the age of blogging I thought I would share some of my thoughts on the theme as titled.
As a wedding photographer you are given the privilege of being very involved with young couples on their special day and I am always prayerful that the marriage will be a good one and able to withstand the challenges along the way.
As wedding photographers we present the couple as atrractively as we can and try to capture the romance of their special day.
While the photos I produce , I think are great, and as a romantic at heart I try for the romance of the occasion, they do not depict real life in as much that after all the celebration and the honeymoon period is over, couples have to settle into the daily task of being married, working, bringing up children and interacting and relating with others. .
There are all the challenges that can happen in life; illness, accidents, mortgages, possible unemployment periods, children difficult to handle, teenagers running off the rails, schooling difficulties, broken friendships and relationships.
The scourge of Drugs and other ills in our society.
Our family has faced many of these and the challenges do not go away as long as we draw breath.
So what is a plan to make your marriage work.
A young couple who recently were married in our Church were given some homework by there counsellor, to ask mature, long married couples in their Church how they had stayed married so long and what advice would we give them.
We were very touched that they asked us amongst others.
Here are some of our thoughts.
My wife and I have engraved on our wedding rings a quote from the book of Ephesians Chapter 4:2
From the Living Bible it says this.
2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
The following verses also are an important part of the plan as well.
3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. 4 For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. 5 There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all.
Be committed to your Marriage and your partner.
If you are Christians it is God’s will for you that your marriage is until death do you part.
We try to make sure that we do things together,
go on holidays together,
to the same concerts.
This doesn’t always happen.
I have come to enjoy operas but I doubt my wife will ever enjoy football.
At all times to always be on your guard when mixing with the opposite sex.
If you are a good listener and you care about people you may find yourselves in a situation where the person receiving your help thinks there is more in it than you intend.
Be very judicious if you drink alcohol.
When we are intoxicated is when we are in trouble.
My preference and rule is no alcohol at all.
(Bearing in mind I don’t believe the Bible
forbids the drinking of alcohol but we are warned to “ not let our Brother stumble.”)
The thing is you or your wife might be the one stumbling.
Do not hero worship your partner.
They are capable of letting you down as much as anyone else.
Build in to your marriage the highest aims and ideals but realise that the only perfect
human being was Jesus.
It is He we should put first and worship.
When the going gets rough in a marriage don’t be so proud as to not ask for help but
choose your counsellor wisely.
1 Corinthians Chapter 13 is often read out at weddings.
Don’t just read it claim it for your marriage.
And at verses 4-7 substitute the name Love or it with your first name.
In a marriage and in life as a Christian give up your right to yourself.
1 Corinthians 13
New Living Translation (NLT)
1 Corinthians 13
Love Is the Greatest
1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
Well there is so much more.
I don’t believe marriages are made in Heaven. In fact the Bible tells us there is no marriage in Heaven.
Marriages are made here on earth and we need to fight for our marriage to be as God intends it to be.
There are high standards for marriage in the Bible but God never asks us to do anything that He cannot or will not supply the power for us to carry it out.
The Christian family , if it is being Christian, has by virtue of Jesus , the in built ability to overcome any challenges