Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The Ins and Outs of Rejection
a book and Christian teacher that I have found very helpful in my own life and in counselling others is "The Ins and Outs of Rejection" by Charles R. Solomon and also "Handbook to Happiness".
In them the author shows us how our responses to rejection plays such a big part in our lives as we are growing up.
The most interesting concept is the fact that there are 2 basic types of rejection. Overt and Covert. The Overt ones are quite obvious, (physical and sexual abuse) but the Covert are a bit more subtle.
Things like being an adopted child, or an unwanted child or children with Divorced parents( we think we caused the split) can cause us big problems as we search for our identity.
Charles Solomon is a Christian who worked in engineering in America when
his own personal crisis in his life caused him to find out about the deeper meaning of the cross in his
life. He subsequently went on to found a Christian Counselling ministry called Grace Fellowship
International.The organization is still active today in training people to become Christian Counsellors
that is what he calls Christian Disciplers.
In the book Hand Book to Happiness he outlines that the secret of the abundant or happy Christian life is a total entering into the
life of Jesus as a co crucifixion experience as outlined in Galatians 2:20.
“ I have been crucified with Christ; and I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. And the real life
I now have within this body is a result of my trusting in the Son of God, who loved and gave himself
When we reckon ourselves dead to self but alive in Christ all sorts of freedom become ours.
We no longer eg need to worry what people think about us because if we are crucified with Christ we
can experience his resurrection power and know that our worth is based in him loving us not anything
else. Also he experienced that rejection on the cross in our place because he loves us.
It is possible for all of us to know Peace with God, if we are Christians,
ie forgiveness of sin,escape from judgement and assurance of heaven,
but we may not know the peace of God. The peace that passes all understanding.
“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God ,which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus”
It is the peace of God that the neurotic or depressed person or psychologically disturbed person is
desperate to know.
It is likewise this peace that the seemingly well adjusted person needs even though they may not
understand they have a problem until their comfortable world starts to come apart at the seams.
A big part of our need to know God’s peace and experience the abundant life is tied up in our need to be accepted and loved.
Listen to this verse from a poem by Dr Solomon.
“ Oh to know acceptance
in a feeling sort of way;
To be known for what I am-
Not what I do or say
It’s nice to be loved and wanted
For the person I seem to be,
But my heart cries out to be loved
For the person who is really me!”
If we are in Christ, we have been crucified with him (Romans 6),
We can know
“ I am accepted”
“ I am secure”
“I am significant”
We can know the deep Love of God through Jesus and be set free.